diet for teenage girl runner

who else loves s’mores? i’m gonna be honest, if it has s’moresin the name, i am gonna try it, even though i know full well it probably will taste nothinglike a s'more. s'more ice cream? there. s'more m&ms? got it.

diet for teenage girl runner, s'moreos? sign me up. that’s why, when i see the stay puft marshmallowman in ghostbusters, all i want is the giant hershey bar guy and the oversized graham crackerlad to show up. that's when we’re having a party, my friends,that's when!

[film theory theme plays] hello internet, welcome to film theory, theshow that asks questions about movies that others are too afraid to ask…or have toomuch self-respect to ask. but i’ll let you decide which one it is! man, in a summer crammed full with movies,there’s one that everyone is talking about: ghostbusters…but maybe not for the rightreasons. i mean the original 1984 version is an undisputedclassic, holding down a 97% fresh rating on rotten tomatoes. but then fast forward to today, where thecgi-filled all-female reboot trailer is currently

the most disliked movie trailer in the historyof youtube. let me say that again: the most disliked trailerin the history of youtube. really? really internet? this is so much worse than this? "are you going bald?" "no, no, no, no, you're getting fatter, and your hair doesn't realize it needs to cover more face." hey i'm not judging, there is no accountingfor taste—and i understand, the comedic stylings of adam sandler are truly transcendent.

[belches, then farts] comedy gold. so the goal for today: make a video that you like at least slightly better than the ghostbusters trailer. well, i'm already starting at an advantage,because this video focuses on the original ghostbusters, reminding you of that happierera when watching a baby get repeatedly put into life-threatening situations was the epitomeof entertainment. truly, when you think of the original movieyeah, sure, you had crossing streams and the demonic david bowie, the most iconic image is none other than the stay puft marshmallow man. it’s a moment so brilliantly absurd it becamean instant classic.

but while others were chortling away at danakyroid’s childhood memories of roasting marshmallows by the fire at camp waconda here’swhere my theorist brain went to when i first saw the scene… could i eat that? and sure, maybe there’s some fatpat talking there, but hey, it’s all in the name of science. so, today i’m answering the question that’sbeen on nobody’s mind since 1984: how many calories are in the stay puft marshmallowman, and what would it mean if i were to actually eat him? now, for those of you who grew up not knowing“who you gonna call” here’s the skinny on our chubbiest of bunnies: in the originalghostbusters, the team takes on an ancient

sumerian demon named gozer who’s hauntingnew york city. as you do, you know, the uzhe. as part of the final showdown, gozer demandsthat the heroes choose what will destroy them and the rest of new york city. while everyone else tries to keep their mindsblank, our good buddy dan aykroyd accidentally imagines "i tried to think of the most harmlessthing,": the stay puft marshmallow man. and you can’t really blame him, becauseimages of stay puft are sprinkled throughout the movie. when we see the eggs in dana’s apartmentexplode and cook on the counter, a bag of

stay puft marshmallows are there on the counterwith the rest of the groceries, and later in the film we see a big mural for stay puftmarshmallows on the side of a building. with all those brand integrations, poor raydidn’t stand a chance. subliminal advertising, guys! you gotta put a #spon on those sorts of things,sellouts. anyway, the great big mallow blaster appears,godzilla-style, and starts pounding upper manhattan into fluff. hilarity ensues. so, let’s figure out just how much marshmallowaction the kaiju puff is packing.

to do this, we need to make some assumptionsabout the stay puft marshmallow man’s contents. let’s just say that he’s made entirelyof marshmallow; normally i’d say he’d need some kind of musculo-skeletal systemto maneuver, but seriously, he’s a giant snack food manifested out of dan aykroyd’ssubconscious and compelled by a demon of hell, so we’re going to let the normal anatomyslide on this one. plus, when he erupts, there ain’t no viscera,just a bunch of marshmallow fluff, so i think we’re safe. now, the first step in determining how muchof a caloric punch stay puft packs is determining just how large he is.

in the movie, they give us a hint: “killedby a 100-foot marshmallow man.” but can we get more exact? absolutely! in the dvd extras for ghostbusters, mark stetson,the model shop supervisor reveals that the scaled size of the stay puft marshmallow manwas 112 and a half feet tall. we can also compare that to the surrounding buildings to confirm that this is the right range. so, for once, that made my life a bit easier,but from there the calculations start to get a bit trickier. initially, i tried to determine the widthof the stay puft marshmallow man by looking

at his scale compared to other landmarks inthe movie. there’s a shot where the ghostbusters arelooking down at stay puft as he walks towards them, and we can see that he is about thewidth from the sidewalk to the yellow center lines on the street. we know that this is about 50 feet, becausethe street stay puft is walking on is central park west in new york. according to an 1892 edition of the worldalmanac, almost all avenues in new york city are 100 feet wide, so stay puft is half that. but we’re still missing depth and the moviedoesn’t really show many good shots from

the side. and more importantly, even if we’re rightabout stay puft being 50 feet wide at his widest, how wide is his head compared to therest of his body? if you watch this series a lot, you’ll knowthat i would usually account for this sort of thing using pixel measurements, but staypuft is full of unusual shapes and sizes. so in this case i'm using another measurementthat'll do a better job of taking stay puft marshmallow man's irregular shape, and givingus workable numbers. and that measurement is bmi. the statistic of bmi was created in the 19thcentury and is mostly used to measure the

relative thickness or thinness of a population by measuring average weight across average height. and for our purposes, it’s actually perfectbecause all it does is calculate a ratio of height to width for a human-shaped object. it doesn’t matter if the person is ripped, or overweight, or happens to be composed entirely of sugar. and looking at the marshmallow man, he’snot just a bunch of cylindrical marshmallows stacked together—he’s got folds and girthto them. he’s much more human than he is purely geometric. so knowing that, take a look at this chartof body shapes and their associated bmis. stay puft is round and has relatively thicklimbs.

from a purely scientific perspective, staypuft’s shape indicates that he would have a very high bmi. and judging by the figures, a bmi of 40 is a good estimate, perhaps even a conservative one. hey, we will have no candy shaming on thischannel, okay? but now that we have a height and a projectedbmi for the stay puft marshmallow man, we can calculate how much he would weigh. or, more accurately, we can determine howmuch a human being his size would weigh, and then go from there. the formula for body mass index states thatbmi is equal to 703 times a person’s weight

in pounds divided by their height in inchessquared. stay puft’s height of 112.5 feet translatesto 1,350 inches. when we square the height, multiply the bmiof 40 by that number, and then divide the result by 703, we have isolated weight, whichcomes out to 103,698 pounds. but now before you rage in the comments, no,obviously he doesn’t weigh 103,000 pounds. like i said, that would be the weight of thestay puft man…man. if the stay puft marshmallow man were justa—a human of marshmallow man size. you get it. what we’re looking for the marshmallow man.

so we need to convert his weight from thisfigure—what he would weigh as a human—to what he would weigh as a marshmallow. to do that, we need to know what the densityof a human and a marshmallow actually are. the density of human being does vary, butfor heavier-set people it’s usually around 1.01 grams per milliliter. now we can adjust that weight of 103,698 poundsto its marshmallow equivalent by converting human density to the density of a marshmallow,which is 0.21 grams per milliliter, about a fifth the density of a human. so, doing all the math, that means the staypuft marshmallow man actually weighs in at

21,561 pounds, or about 9,500 kilograms. which is actually surprisingly light for abuilding-crushing monster. for perspective, that’s lighter than a typicalschool bus, so having him destroying buildings, may be a bit of a stretch. he’s still a giant marshmallow. even at such an enormous of a size, his squishy stay puft-ness would just puff off most well-made buildings. but i hear you in the comments saying “geez,matpat, i came here because i want to eat an ancient sumerian demon, and not talk aboutschool buses.” and that’s valid, i totally understand yourdesire to eat an ancient sumerian demon.

so now that we know how much he weighs, figuringout the number of calories he contains is really no sweat. for reference, i used the nutrition factsof kraft’s jet puffed marshmallows because something tells me they're not that different,which claim to have 100 calories for every four marshmallows, or 30 grams, 20 grams ofwhich is pure sugar. when we convert the weight of stay puft inpounds to grams and multiply that by the number of calories per gram, we get our whoppingtotal: the stay puft marshmallow man comes out to be 32.6 million calories. get ready to hit that pilates class...a fewhundred thousand times.

if you wanted to consume that many calories,you’d have to down about 228,000 cans of coca-cola, or eat 2.7 million peanut m & ms, or have 62,700 big mac meals from the golden arches. considering that the average human life is27,375 days, you would practically have to have the big mac meal three times a day, everyday, for the rest of your life to get to that level of caloric intake. which in turn, begs the question:what about burning it off? well, a good rule of thumb is that a typicalperson will burn 100 calories per mile walking. so that would translate to you walking 326,000miles to work off your marshmallow man binge. and if that sounds like a lot, you don’tknow the half of it!

the circumference of the earth is just about25,000 miles. so you’d have to walk around the entireglobe 13 times to burn off that sumerian demon you consumed. man, i knew i should have ordered off thelighter menu. that caesar salad titan was calling my name. considering the average caloric intake fora man is about 2000 a day, that’s nearly 44 years worth of calories in a single serving. hungry? why wait?

eat a marshmallow man, you'll be set for life. and talk about your sugar rushes. one 100 foot tall marshmallow man is the equivalentof 6.52 millions grams of sugar. that’s 7 american tons of sugar, the equivalentof an adult african elephant made entirely of sugar. it’s nearly 1.5 million oreo cookies—singlestuffed, which let’s be honest, is clearly inferior to double stuft, so it’s actually1,000,000 double stuft oreos. you may have seen the studies about how muchhumans have increased their sugar intake over the course of our history.

it’s estimated to have risen 600% over thelast 140 years. we now consume 130 pounds or 60,000 grams of sugar each year, which admittedly is a lot. but even with in the face of this huge increasein sugar intake, stay puft represents 108 years of constantly shoving sugar into yourface. so needless to say, the stay puft marshmallow man does not seem to be part of a balanced diet. but the big question of the day remains: couldyou eat him? technically, the answer is yes, but the fineprint would say “but not for very long.” and the problem is with the sugar. toxicologists believe that the lethal doseof sugar for a human being is about 15 grams

per kilogram of weight. i say believe because these are estimates;apparently, it’s pretty hard to find test subjects who are willing to eat sugar untilthey die, go figure. sometimes it feels like i come close though! sorry, that’s fatpat talking again. for a 150 pound adult, that lethal dose wouldbe between 2 and 2.5 pounds of sugar or about 1,000 grams, which, all things considered,isn’t all that much. if you were committed to eating the beast,he would kill you 6,500 times over before you were through.

which means, in an ironic twist, the scariestthing about stay puft isn’t his physical force—remember, he’s punching with lessstrength and density than a school bus—and it isn’t crossing the streams, it’s hissugar content. forget getting stepped on, he would literallykill you before you gnawed his toe off. but hey, that's just a theory. a film theory, aaaaaand cut! but before i sign off, do you want to win$50,000? how about winning up to $2,000 every day forthe rest of july? it sounds like it's a scheme, but it’s not.

i was selected to host a new reality competitionseries called the runner for the entire month of july and you guys, you at home, have theopportunity to win a bunch of cash! basically the runner is a cross-country manhuntas a secret supersoldier tries to make his way across the united states without gettingcaught. if he does it, he wins $500,000. but this is where you come in. it’s up to five chaser teams, and you guysonline helping them, to track him down and win that money for yourself by solving cluesdelivered live by me during a broadcast at the start of each day.

you guys are theorists, you’re totally gonnacrush this! you win money by doing brain puzzles. that's it! so you interested? i hope so, ‘cause it’s legitimately reallycool. it’s a new series not on youtube, but ongo90 hosted by yours truly, and executive produced by jason bourne and batfleck himself,matt damon and ben affleck. yeah, this is legit. the chase officially begins tomorrow, july1st, and to kick things off, the show is giving away $50,000 to lucky viewers.

$50,000 tomorrow, so you’ll definitely wantto tune in on day 1. to do that, you’ll want to go to go90.com/therunneror download the go90 app to watch the show. don't worry, it's all free and links are inthe description. first episode starts at noon east coast time,9am pacific july 1st. from there, i’ll be coming to you live toexplain more on how to win. but again everything is totally free and noneof this will affect the flow of episodes or us doing regular gtlive livestreams. it's just really a chance for me to live outmy bucket list item of being a game show host...and giving you guys a chance to win easy-to-wincash all while participating in a pretty cutting-edge

show, where you guys, over social media, aretracking down a super soldier stealthing his way across the country. so please consider checking it out live every day in july starting at noon eastern, 9 am pacific. and with that said, let the chase begin!