food picky eaters like

i was what they call a "fussy eater". "he is fussy" "he is a fussy eater". "fussy eater" is a euphemism for... ...big pain in the ass! i mean, if i didn't like something, i told them!

food picky eaters like, i didn't play with my food. picked up my food and said:"i don't like that!" "did you make this?""i don't like it!" "why?"

they wanted reasons! well, you don't always have a reason!"i don't know!" "i know i don't like it... ...and i know that if i ate it, i would like it even less!" "you like it? you eat it!" then they would try to corner me with logic... "how do you know you don't like it... ...if you've never even tried?" "it came to me in a dream!"

big pain in the ass! some things i didn't like just because the sound of the food... ...and to this day, i can still not eat... ...yogurt! it sounds like it's coming up again! i can't eat anything with a "y" and a "g" in it! something else that doesn't sound so good: "squash!" "you want some squash?" "shit, no!"

"sounds like somebody sat on my dinner!" "sackatash" "you want some sackatash?""what did you call me? you fuck! look out! heh!" "hey, fucking cool out!" "hey, it's fucking beans and corn! cool out! cool out!" "wheat germ" "no, get it off my plate!" even something like "eggplant"! well, which one is it, anyway?

tell it to make up its mind and then come on back! terrible sounding food! "head cheese". i can't even look at the sign! "i'll be down here with the bolony! you look at it!" between head cheese and blood tongue i may never eat again! certainly it won't be at the deli! then there are some foods that sound too humorous to eat... did you hear something too funny to eat?

"guacamole". sounds like something you wear to a dance! "may i borrow your green guacamole?" "garbanzo" "hey, want some garbanzoes?" that sounds like a circus act!"ladies and gentlemen, the garbanzoes!" and the funniest food of all time... "kumquats". i don't bring them home anymore!

just go to waste! some things don't look right!"i don't like that, ma!" "don't look right to me!" "did you make that?" "is there a picture of it in the cookbook?" "i bet it don't look like that!" let's face it! be honest! some things don't look right! of course, some people will eat anything! i know that! some guys eat anything!i saw those guys in the army on the chow line!

"what's this? nevermind! gimme a whole lot of it!" "that's rat's asshole, don!" "well, it certainly makes a hell of a fondue!" now, look, i don't eat anything i don't recognize immediately! if i have to ask questions... fuck it! i pass! you know? tomatoes don't look right, either. on the outside, they're fine... ...tomatoes look lovely on the outside, but you look inside a tomato and something is wrong. something is gone a-foul inside of a tomato! it doesn't look right, you know? it doesn't look like it's finished yet, for one thing...

...it looks like it's in the larval stage or something! it's thousands of seeds and a whole bunch of jelly-looking stuff! "get it off my plate!" it's gushy! it's like the stuff at the end of an egg... ...and i know it's not the end of an egg.it's the beginning of a chicken! it's hen cum! get it off my plate! something else that doesn't look like food... ...lobsters and crabs!

i mean, anything coming at me... ...walking sideways... ...with big pinchers... ...somehow doesn't make me hungry! in fact, my instinct is..."step on that fuck!" "look at the big bug! step on the big bug...!" "...before it gets to the children!"