best crash diet yahoo answers

from questionable questions about incest tobizarre statementsthat don't make sense, we count 30 google auto-completes that provesgoogle thinks we’re dumb. 30 – when i jump i hear water.• ever jump and hear water? i know i have many different times. i’ve also blinkedand heard the ocean, skipped and seen god and fallen over and smelled freshly cut grass.• then, of course, there’s the other auto

best crash diet yahoo answers, complete ‘when i jump i wet myself’; i’msure bladder control is a serious issue to those that lack it but why would you announcethis problem your search engine? are you hoping incontinence can be cured without visitinga physician? 29 – is it wrong to sleep with your sister?• so when you type ‘is it wrong’ google

automatically assumes you want to know whetheror not incestuous relations are a bad thing or not… yeah. i don’t even know whereto begin. • well really this question just provestwo things, there are a lot of perverse people on the internet (shock horror) and internetconnectivity is actually really common in rural country towns.28 – firefox has crashed and needs cuddles. • firefox is one of the most popular browserson the net, this is in part thanks to the fact that it’s open source software, meaningyou can look through all of the code the developers have written.• i guess when anyone and everyone can look at your insides you might feel unstable andcrash spectacularly if you don’t get some

cuddles.27 – my cat wants me to get an abortion. • cats are well known for being pro-abortion,not even pro-choice, just pro-abortion, they want to thin the human population as muchas possible. • i mean, what other possible reason couldthere be for this to be in google auto-complete? 26 – put that mayonnaise on your child.• oh yeah, put that thick white fluid all over your kid, that’ll teach him to notrub the lotion on his skin when you tell him to.• anyone that searches this is automatically put into the nsa’s potential child predatorlist and is given free entrance to a psychiatric ward of their choosing.25 – sometimes i like to pretend i’m a

meatball.• what did you pretend to be when you were a kid? if you answered meat ball you are thekind of person that google thinks is the norm. • there’s no two ways around this, it’sweird and bizarre; unlike pretending to be a piece of spaghetti, which is completelynormal and please stop judging me for identifying as a tubular string of pasta.24–dinosaurs don’t kick the baby. • this makes me wonder what possible scenariocould exist in which you would have to specify that dinosaurs do not, in fact, kick infants.• it almost sounds like a passcode that spies would use, or maybe it’s a quote froma movie or something, in which case i’d like to question what narcotics the screenwriterwas consuming when writing this out.

23 – can people read minds?• next up in the news, a new wave of paranoia apparel has spread across the fashion industry:tin foil hats that have the ability to google are available at any store near you that isn’trun by the cia or illuminati. 22 – can hackers access my computer whenit is off? • a lot of people really don’t understandhow technology works and this is empirical evidence supporting such a statement.• i mean sure, if you set up your pc so it can be turned on through the internet thiscan happen, but i have a feeling the people googling this phrase are oblivious to suchmethods and their possible uses. 21 – i ate a big red candle• but it’s okay because next i ate a wick

and a lighter so it will melt away, i justneed to wait for a while and enjoy breathing out the smell of sandalwood and lavender.• however, i am a bit concerned that the flame will singe my stomach, i guess i candrink some pepto-bismol to help with that though.20 – don’t you hate it when a sentence doesn’t end the way you think it octopus.• yes, i also hate it when a grammar doesn’t complete sentence and makes lack of sensein pterodactyl. • i’m guessing this entry is a meme orsomething, but really, i don’t think i’ve ever come across a sentence that ends in asimilarly absurd banana. 19 – why do i keep hitting myself with ahammer?

• the real question is why are none of yournails hammered in properly? they’re bent all over your forehead and frankly it’sembarrassing. • i guess you should probably consider abandoninghammering altogether and and buy a nerf bat. 18 – does my head look big in this?• many people have asked their partner or friend whether or not they look good in theirchoice of clothing, to which the askee almost always replies ‘yes’ to in fear of implyingthat the asker has a larger than normal head. • the other fantastic auto-complete hereis the ‘does my crush like me’ because apparently google knows all, including whoyour crush is and whether or not they reciprocate your feelings towards them.17 – why is there a dead pakistani on my

couch?• a famous philosophical question and thought experiment, so it’s no surprise it turnedup in google autocomplete. • what’s particularly weird about thisone is the incredibly specific nature of the question, how often did this specific situationhave to prop up before it turned up on autocomplete? at least a lot.16 – can a human get an animal pregnant? • i don’t think so, i know i’ve attemptedwith a variety of animals including pigs, horses, hippos, crocodiles and koalas.• i’m guessing the people the googled this didn’t pay much attention during theirhigh-school biology classes. 15 – you smell like a baby prostitute.• kids these days, i swear it was just yesterday

that we were complaining about how tweensdress and now we’ve got baby prostitutes with their distinctive smell all up in thisplace. • but seriously, i can’t even comprehendwhy anyone would search this particular phrase; it’s more than a little disturbing.14 – what if one day you turned into an almond.• i once turned into an almond, it wasn’t so bad after i got all the salt off of meand avoided getting turned into a meal designed to use in baking.• people are clearly just incredibly bored these days, why else would you google sucha ridiculous hypothetical question? 13 – what do i do if a dolphin wants tomate with me?

• you should be honoured that such an elegantsea beast has chosen you as its partner; just be careful not to say any dolphin slurs inthe process, they’re pretty sensitive about that sort of thing.• i’m guessing this one came from the workers from sea world and marine biologists,who else could possibly know if a dolphin was asking to mate with them?12 – help, i accidentally pooped on my boyfriend. • i think we’ve all been there every nowand then, you think you’re sitting on the toilet when all of a sudden you realise that it’s actually your boyfriend’s chest,very awkward. 11 – i murdered someone because of monopoly.• this one makes sense, if you like monopoly you’re clearly a sicko that is hungry formurder.

• of course that doesn’t exactly explainwhy someone typed this into google, did they want to find a monopoly murderers supportgroup? 10 – bacon is a little hug from god.• i know i hug people by giving them a delectable treat, so why wouldn’t god do the same thing?• but really, i get why religious people would think this way, bacon is pretty damngood indication that god does exist and he loves everyone equally.9 – what are those things in gremlins called? • oh crap, i know this, give me a second…was it gurchers? gambles? gumlings? no wait i think i got it: grilnems.• if you don’t think this is both stupid and funny you have serious issues, you don’tneed to have seen the movie to recognise just

how idiotic this question really is.8 – i like to yell at mice with my shirt off.• but when i’m done with that i put my shirt back on and scream at cantaloupes withmy boxers around my ankles. • the amount of bizarre statements put intogoogle is starting to make me wish that computers weren’t readily available in mental hospitals.7 – why does grandma/grandpa turn me on? and: why does my grandma poop on me?• when i found this search i spent a good thirty minutes staring at my scream with alook of ‘what’ scrawled on my face that still hasn’t quite gone away yet.6 – once when i was 7 i sat on a banana. • this happens to a lot of people, the bestway to deal with this is to see a specialised

psychiatrist and work things through withthem. 5 – why do i want to eat my baby?• i get it, i mean when it gets food all over itself it does look quite delicious,but you need to restrain yourself and wait for the baby turn three years old or elseyou run a chance of catching baby brain. 4 - my cat is pregnant and i think i’m thefather. • what is with people with all the incestand bestiality? i mean i know this is the internet but really guys, calm your farms.3 – pop tarts are not kleenex. • this is an important distinction to make,many people type this into google so they prevent as many third degree burns as possible;i myself have typed it in google at least

forty times to make sure it remains as anauto-complete. 2 –from what age can babies fly?i don’t even know man, i’m still waiting to fly myself; i’m guessing it happens ataround 42 years of age, but that could be the lsd speaking to me again.1 – how does a blind person see? and how does a blind person know when to stop wiping?• okay, the second one isn’t that bad, i can understand people wanting to know this,but the first one proves that there are many, many stupid people with the access to theinternet. • i mean if you’re searching this youmust have an inkling of an idea what blind means, else would you search it? furthermore,what answer were they expecting? all blind

people scream constantly in order to use sonar?